African American Mother Handles Opposition From Daughters About Dating White Guys

African American Mother Handles Opposition From Daughters About Dating White Guys

Image: Konditori via Flickr

This article was submitted to Blogher by Nkhen B.

My girls and I were having an all-out disagreement about why I liked white guys. I said it was a preference. The girls were of the opinion that I had been conditioned by society to hate black men. I pointed out that I loved my two black brothers and my dealings with countless other black men I had encountered and, uhm, experienced in my life.

But they held firm, so I smiled and let it go.

To put it down clearly, and never have to re-visit this issue again, my theory goes like this:

White imperialist, supremacist, patriarchal society rules the world. It makes the rules and dictates and determines what is right, what the norm is, and what is acceptable. In that blatant decision, whatever is not incorporated within that view is automatically (if not subtly) construed and constructed as wrong, abnormal, and unacceptable.

So they are white, thus whiteness is good. They are male, thus females are subordinates. They are heterosexual, able-ists subscribing to democratic, capitalistic, Christian-themed ideologies. Anything contrary or not that is marginalised and overall othered.

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